How To Know If Your Man Is Cheating And How To Catch Him Out

Hey hey hey, it's your friendly super hero Dear.Rob... Hope I meet you all in good health?

Now it's time to get the scuba gear out and dive straight in. Lads I do apologise for the trade secrets I am about to expose in this blog but hey stop cheating or cheat better.

OK let's goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.


Introduction:


Let me start off by saying this...Monogamy is monopoly; it is great for those who want this desirable state, but it often to works a biologic strain on those who are not so fortunate. But quite regardless of the effect on the individual, monogamy is decidedly best for the children.

The earliest monogamy was because of the force of circumstances, poverty. Monogamy is cultural and societal, artificial and unnatural, that is, unnatural to evolutionary man. 


Monogamy is the benchmark which measures the progress of social civilisation as ascertained from purely biologic evolution. Monogamy is not fundamentally biologic or natural, but it is indispensable to the immediate continuance and further development of social civilisation. It contributes to a delicacy of sentiment, a purification of moral character, and a spiritual growth which are utterly impossible in polygamy.
Most women will find it hard to become an ideal mother when she is all the while obliged to engage in rivalry for her husband’s affections.


However if you look at the animal kingdom male mammals are promiscuous and have always been and for those who do not know we are mammals.


I laugh when people say that it is impossible to be born gay,  who taught you to be born straight?... From when there are gay dolphins and gay lions... Why cant humans be born gay? Explain hermaphrodites. Another discussion for another topic.


Hope the words used aint turned in condoms and gone over heads...well if you excogitate you will be able to determine that i am a sesquipadalian.

Lets get to the nitty gritty.





Public Signs That He May Be Cheating


Why oh why is your man going to a trey songs concert? ... Does he wear skinny jeans and gladiator sandals? ... If not what is his reason for going there? He is most likely going to draw girls and please believe me he ain't no artist.

Look at the video clip and tell me what you hear/see.

Why is that whenever you and him go out he always takes you to a place that ends in shire? Shropshire, Cambridgeshire, why doesn't he take you to the places that he frequents? I tell you why... He doesn't want to get caught out, so he takes you to obscure locations, so he doesn't get spotted like the last days of a period. Ask him to take you to the places he often goes. Why is it good for him and not good for the both of you?

So you walked into a bar and all of a sudden he says he doesn't want to drink here anymore and makes a quick b line for the door and you know he hasn't parked illegally... He has seen a link in there and doesn't want you to break the chain.

If a guy is really slick like the former me, what he would do is park up, go in the restaurant/bar 1st and check if the coast is clear. Watch out for those maneuvers.

So your man went on a boys holiday... What do you think he went to do in Miami? Chill with the lads yeah? Please don't fool yourself. Yes there are guys who may go there and want to sun bathe with some hot segsee brazillian mammies but please that is the odd 1 in a million and I aint talking about Aaliyah. Where are the pics? Guys are so bait... How come he has no pics with any girls? That alone is suspect. Surely he mingled with girls but the guilt wont let him show you any pics with females.


6 months in and you haven't met his mum and she lives in the country... Why? Why? Why is he hiding you from his family? Why? I tell you why, he most probably has another girlfriend or has more kids that he hasn't told you of. It is imperative that if you claim to have a man that you meet his family. Many men have girlfriends and they know their mum wont stand for the cheating so they keep you away, in saying that some mums are on the payroll and will lie for their sons so be careful.

You and him are in the same rave and he didn't invite you to party where he is/was... Some of his concubines are loitering around and he doesn't want the commotion. A man who isn't cheating will feel no way having you in his arms in public a swine ball will.

So it was his birthday, he invited you to the dinner but never invited you to the after party, why? Why couldn't you go to the rave? Well he has told his side chick to go there, he most probably lied to her and told her that, that was all he would be doing.



If you never got the birthday sex on his birthday, he gave it to somebody else, so its likely your just the sweetcorn... Side chick.

So you went to the cinema to watch a film and whilst watching the film, at all the scary and funny parts he never flinched...he seemed to know the story line...yep he has most likely watched the film already that's why the cashier winked at him.

So he has gone on a business trip... To where? Hmmmmmmm easiest excuse to cheat, especially when one is self employed.

Why do you allow your man to go raving continously? Why does he go raving week in week out? What is in the club for him? If he is not a DJ or a promoter (and even those guys tend to be the worst) why is he out all the time? He is going to draw numbers... Plain and simple. Man aint getting dressed, spunking dough to just go home. I am sorry he is not. He goes there to draw. Since I've stopped battering the rave scene my sex life has been shit, as I have no links :(


Mobile Phones


Why does your man have a blackberry and you are not on it...Do you just enjoy mugging yourself? Do you enjoy being special... Needs that is. Why wont he add you to his black berry? Let me guess, he doesn't want you seeing his updates of where he might be going and also you cant tell whether or not he has read your message.

Between 9-11pm is what is known as linking hours. Lets say you've gone to work, finished at 5pm, got home for 6pm, freshen up by 7pm. If she is making her way to his he will deffo be with her between those hours. If you think back it is usually between 9 and 11pm he has difficulty answering his phone.

You see that name that is saved in his phone as Angelo... Take that O and replace it with an A. Yes don't for one second get it twisted guys will save a girls name in their phone under a mans name so that if she rings when he is with you he can say that its his mate.


That folder in his phone that says create folder, he has renamed that 'create folder'. Open that folder up and you will see what he has inside that folder. That's where all the shit is hidden.


Why does your man have a pin to his phone and he refuses to tell you? What is he hiding? So whenever you want to use his phone you have to hand it to him for him to put his pin in and hand it back to you...Do you enjoy being special... Needs that is. Come on, it's only a man who has suin to hide that will not want you having his pin.


Why is that when you rang his phone it said "the mobile phone is unavailable" that is because he took out the battery, so it would say that, watch out for those tricks there.

So you rang him and he is texting you back, why is he texting you back? You know his work pattern and he aint at work. He is most probably with a link so he cant pick up. If he calls you back the following day, you don't need the cooker to tell you what time it is.

Why is that his phone never rings when he is with you but he always seems to be on it when you aren't around? Yeah he has diverted his calls to voicemail or even better put it on flight mode... Why aint it ringing?

Watch out for guys who always call on private number, that is the number he doesn't want you to have. So understand you're just that sweetcorn, the side chick, don't be upset Jesus died on the cross for you.

These new gadgets can ring themselves now...so please don't fall for that "I've got to go my mate is in trouble" line... He could be using that to go and link another chick.


So his phone rang and it said 'Sarah', What he did is that he pressed the silent button, put the phone to his ear and started talking to himself. So all this time when he was saying he was at his girls, he was talking to no one and you got all happy that he told a girl he was at his girls, paahahahahahahahaaa.

Looking through his phone and you cant find no girls name...*Chortles*. Put a full stop 1st and then you will see them. e.g ( .angela .sheila) Do you catch my drift?

Watch out for the guys who will claim they are going raving with the lads but go to a girls house and then come back at about 4. If he is leaving your house at 4am he most likely going to his girls. What these guys will do is post up old pics on their bb professing to be in a club.



Social Networks


Why does your man have a facebook and you are not on it? That there is complete and utter muggins of the highest calibre. Social networks are the easiest devices to catch a swine out... From tagged pictures to girls leaving comments on pictures.

Back in the day Dwayne could be any Dwayne now you can put a face to that mofo.

Why is it that he doesn't have a picture of you on his facebook? Since when did a man want to hide a good thing? Since when? When a man has a good thing he shows it off... I guess your just that best kept secret.

He has pictures with himself and other girls but not with you... It's clear he doesn't want anyone knowing about you so no one doesn't inbox you asking who you are.

So he tells you he doesn't want a pic of you and him up on your facebook...Why is that? Whats wrong with that? Whats the big deal? hmmmmmmmmmmm.


Watch out for the guys with two facebook accounts so just because he has added you on one doesn't mean narda.



His House

So you have come to his house and discovered a half bottle of rose in the fridge, most if not all bruddas dont drink rose in their house... That mofo drank that ish with some girl. All of them kind of fruity drinks like wine, he never drunk that with the lads... Ynless once again he wears skinny jeans and gladiators, other than that he was in the house with some next bish. 

So you came round to watch a DVD and you suggest " Diary of a mad black woman" and he says "We've watched that already babes" and you fully well no you haven't... Just know he has watched it before but with a next chick.

So you've come round to his and the place is extra spotless... I mean cleaned behind the toaster, you know how his flat usually looks. The xbox pads are all folded away, just know his sister never came round... It was another chick who stayed round and tidied up, polished the tv and him.

So you've gone in his draw and there was 6 condoms the last time you went in there and now there is 4, please he did not give them to his boy, he did not. He used them, yes he did. I dont care, please do not buy that line and if he does claim he gave it to his friend tell him to call the friend right this minute and make sure he doesn't send a text.


The way I got caught of with my ex was this: She rang me and said she left a pair of earrings at mine but she hadn't. So like a prick I said "yeah i've found them". This time the earrings weren't hers they belonged to someone else...*Checkmate*... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


Different colour hair... I learnt from this. Only cheat on your missus with girls who have the same length and colour hair as her. A woman knows when she is looking at another bishes hair.

He changed his sheets and pillows just 2 days ago why is he changing them again? Who has been squirting on the sheets? Who has left foundation on his pillow case?

Why does he have a key to your house and you don't have one to his? Please stop mugging yourself off.

Please overstand that men do not sleep at each others houses randomly. Please do not buy that lie. If your man went out raving and never came home, he most likely slept at a chicks house... Yes he did. I cant tell you the last time I slept at one of my male friends house. We would rather go home.

At Work



All of a sudden he has started making effort in the way he dresses at work... Why? What is there for him all of a sudden that he has now taken a different pride in his appearance?

You used to get an invite to the work dinners and parties, now you dont. He is most likely boning someone in the office and doesnt want to get caught out like ghanaians with no passport on boarder force.

The moment you no longer get invited to his work functions... There is a reason.

The I was working late line...Ok, what 'figures' were you working? 

His Car

So you've got to his car and the seat is pulled qway to the front... Ermmmmmm what girl was in your car pal?

You've got to his car and the back seat is reclined all the way, yeah he was smooching some chick and wound it back so he could do the do.

Shout out to the mandem who keep a spare pair of boxers in the gym bag in the boot... Cant be getting caught with the cum stains can we.

Check the passenger visor women tend to leave their foundation fingerprints on there.

Exhales

Ultimately if your man is going to cheat there is nothing you can do about it, please do not pull your hair out and slit your wrist.

Not all men cheat, so please do not think they all do but i will say is this: If you have been with your man 5 years plus and you have not caught him cheat, that is love right there. When a man loves you he will pull out all the stops to ensure he doesn't get caught. As crazy as it sounds monogamy is not for every male... It is not natural.

Before you leave a man who cheats on you and you have kids with him, you have to think to yourself. Is he a good dad? Does he take care of home? Is he a good partner?

There are different forms of cheating. If a man is beating the next door neighbour it is clear he has no respect for you. If he is chopping someone in your work place he clearly doesn't. Did you find condoms in his bin? He doesn't care but if you found he was stroking a cat in Birmingham then you have to understand that he actually is trying to shield you from it.

Remember when you leave a man because of infidelity you have to ask yourself one question, who actually wins? If you move out with your kids and live in a hostel eating noodles and ketchup, who wins?


A man can cheat on you and still love you, most men do not value sex. It is just sex. Most of us would stick our willies in a wet hoover if it would make us cum. It is just another extension of our body...consider it a third arm *coughs* and yes mine is as long as an arm.

I haven't mentioned everything but the key in catching your man out is simply having common sense. One thing you girls need to stop doing is calling a man on the phone when trying to catch him out...STOP IT. He can easily hang up and call a friend. Wait til he gets home and confront him. That way he cant hang up and try and make up a cock and bull story.

 Also pour him a drink, if he is lying he will use the drink to bide time.

Damn I'm giving too much away.

If you're looking for a man to complete you... You've missed the whole point.