For Heaven's Sake, I Hope We're Not Dating For The Hell Of It.

For those of you who are witty I guess you can tell from the title what this blog post is going to be about.

I guess it's because I've never gone down on a woman as to why I am so opinionated; the cats never got my tongue. I've been asked by so many to do a blog on religion and dating, so here it is.

I will be addressing the Abrahamic religion known as Christianity in this blog, the reason I haven't addressed the other two is that most of the people who read my blogs/tweets are Christians. Please proceed with an open mind. Like a parachute your mind can only work if it is open.

For Heaven’s Sake, I Hope We’re Not Dating for the Hell of It.

Now the other day I was bantering on twitter as I habitually do and somebody I follow asked a question on the lines of "Ladies, would you date a good man if he didn't believe in G-d/wasn't religious?" 

The responses left me flummoxed, most of the ladies said that they wouldn't date a “good man” if he wasn't a Christian/believed in G-d. So you'd overlook a guy who could potentially be a loving partner because he doesn't subscribe to the religion/faith you believe in? Let's just excogitate on that for a moment. The funny thing about it is that most of the girls who commented and said they wouldn't date a non-religious man had pictures of themselves in raves as their avatar. So I guess you don't want to date men who are not believers but you have no problem going to a rave and getting daggered to some Celine Dion? Cool blud, cool.

As much as it offended me slightly that these women would write-off a man who wasn't a believer, I don't blame them. The archaic religious texts which they subscribe to says

"I am the way the truth and life, no one comes to father except through me" (John 14:6). Their book advises them that the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ, meaning you must accept Jesus as your Lord and personal saviour, otherwise you’ll fry in some place called Hell for eternity. It's crazy how one says that the G-d of the bible is ‘just’ but will allow you to burn in a place called hell eternally...

Free moral choice requires there to be no coercion, yet the Abrahamic religions use coercion in order to get people to behave. With coercion, the choice is not free. And it doesn't get much more coercive than the threat of eternal torture. 

In saying the above the bible doesn't actually say that you cannot marry a non-believer. However, why would one as a believer want to date someone who doesn't adhere to their religion? As someone who believes in religious dogma you should want to meet your partner in heaven/paradise but if they are not someone who practices your faith according to scripture they won’t be where you’re going.

Can I Stroke The Cat? "You Have To Say 'I Do' First" But I Do ¬_¬

As you're aware Christianity is against sex before marriage, this is one hurdle that a non-believer and someone who is secular are going to have to meet at some point. There is no way on this earth a woman is telling me she wants to abstain from sex till marriage unless she is a virgin and then I will understand her reasoning. Otherwise I will insert. I won’t eat you, nor will I spoon you but I will fork you nicely.

If you've read my antecedent blog you will understand how the no sex before marriage ploy got introduced into the Abrahamic religions. The misogyny back in time was crazy. Women have come a long way. 

Here are a few scriptures to illustrate how important being a virgin was back then.

^{Numbers 31 vs 15-18}

¹⁵ “Have you allowed all the women to live?” he asked them.¹⁶ “They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the LORD in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the LORD’s people. ¹⁷ Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man,¹⁸ but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

Genesis 19 5-8

⁵ They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” ⁶ Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him ⁷ and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. ⁸Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

Yet, even after this despicable act, Lot is still regarded as an honorable man, worth saving from the destruction of the city. Even though he is giving his daughters over to be raped and what was his convincing line? They are virgins.

Now sexual compatibility is very important when it comes to a relationship, let alone marriage. If the two of you can’t make each other climax you are going to have problems. Imagine waiting until marriage to have sex and then discovering your husband is nothing more than a bomb threat in the sheets, a Tick Tick Tick with no Boom Boom Pow.

He always turns up late to mine but always cums early. G-d, why? I never signed up for this ish.

What next? Can you really say that you will stay with someone who couldn't satisfy you sexually? Really?

I know of a few Christian girls who have met men and as soon as they drop this 'No Sex before Marriage' line the men disappear, vanish, gone, they do a Houdini on their ass. I guess for those who are believers, like a game of black jack, they're just going to have to deal with the hand they've been given. If the man does wait let’s just hope that his Queen’s a Slag in the bedroom, if not, there's no Bring Backs, the King can't reverse.

The bible states in Hebrews 13:4 "⁴ Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral".

So as you can see, it irrevocably states that having sex before marriage is a sin and one shouldn't do so but not only that one shouldn't be kissing either. As a Christian or someone dating a Christian you can't be like Scorcher and be on this lipsing ting, you shouldn't be kissing as this will incite lustful thoughts and you wouldn't want to do that now would you? Naughty, naughty.

It states in Matthew 5 28-29 that "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.²⁹ If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell".

Just harbouring sexual thoughts is a sin as far scripture is concerned, so as a Christian you shouldn't even be kissing as this will evoke sexual thoughts. Wowzas, kind of like the morning after bad sex it’s a hard pill to swallow.

So What Does The Bible Say About Divorce?

Now this is the part that irks me the most about the Abrahamic religion and marriage. From an anthropology point of view there is no evidence to ever suggest that Eros love lasts forever, none whatsoever. It is said that Eros love is at its highest stage of ecstasy between the first 36 months and after that is what is consider as auto pilot. You and I both know that one can fall out of Eros love with someone. So why on earth do we have religious texts stating that someone can only divorce on grounds of adultery or death? {Please note: A man can divorce on the grounds of adultery… a woman cannot.*Chortles*}.

Matthew 19 7-9

⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” ⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Romans 7 2-3

"For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. ³ So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man".

So as you can see the only grounds for a woman to remarry is if she shanks her husband in the trachea or he dies.

Sorry but I refuse to be a spinster, you must die so I can remarry.

So basically if your partner beats you or if you and your partner are simply not getting along, as in you have fallen out of love, you are not to remarry. You're stuck with the bastardo, so please prop your pillow well well and lay in that bed.

Is This Life, Is This Really Life?

I'm going to tell you a true story here. A girl I know of got married at 21, divorced at 23 because the dude hit her. The dude was a Christian. She had no kids whilst married to him. She went on to meet another guy who she wanted to marry but the man’s parents objected stating that as her husband is still alive she is not allowed to remarry as it is against scripture. So she has two choices; kill the dude or join a nunnery. Remember she isn't allowed to have sex before marriage which means she can't have any kids the natural way. So what is she meant to do with the next 50 odd years of her life? Oh what a life, I feel for the girl. The girl is just depressed, there is nothing she can do or is there? I'm such a sneaky fooker, I don't give A-dam ask Sandler .

There is one thing she has forgotten about her religion, the biggest loophole which people seem to forget.

As a Christian you cannot undo the work of Christ on the cross, you cannot. You are not saved by works. That is the major difference between Islam and Christianity. In Islam it is said that one has to do good to get to paradise as well as be a follow of Allah. However to make heaven as a Christian all one has to do is accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and personal saviour. The bible states that our good deeds are like filthy rags in the eyes of the Lord. One is only saved by grace. A lot of Christians do not understand this.

^{Romans 8 38-39}

⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Click this link, it will further explain how one cannot lose their salvation... http://www.av1611.org/etern.html.

So yes that is the loop hole of Christianity, I have advised her that she can remarry.  Look at Juanita Bynum, she has married more than once! There are numerous pastors preaching now who have remarried. You cannot undo the work of Christ on the cross; your sin is not greater than the blood he shed on Calvary. If any men tells you otherwise it is heresy, slap his lips.

The funniest thing about religion is that a Jew will swear he has the right religion, a Christian too, a Muslim will say Walahi. Well you all can't be telling the truth, can you? ¬_¬ 

Oh look what we have here, all three representatives of the Abrahmic  Religions meeting in Bosnia. Interesting.

Why don't we just obliterate the Abrahamic religions all together? We don't need to follow religion to know a man didn't create the sun. The three Abrahamic religions all agree that there is one G-d, so why is it that they all seem to be worshiping three different G-d's? Why is it that each of them has made their religion exclusive, to the point that if I am not a follower I'm hell bound? To the point that it stops one from dating someone who is not a follower of one's chosen religion.

Well hey, as a deist (someone who believes in the creator but doesn't subscribe to religion) it would be nice if we could all just get along. G-d isn't a Muslim, Christian nor is he a Jew. These are all man made constructs and should not stop us mortals from dating one another. It's sad to think that a woman who is a Muslim is not allowed to date me because of texts written thousands of years ago.

Surely Eros love should have no barrier, Eros love should be the most important thing when it comes to two people getting together, not a social construct put together by man. Yes, religion is based on faith and faith is simply having a belief but it's a shame that these beliefs can stop one from finding love or hold one hostage in a marriage they don't want to be in.

Eros Love and Sex are the two things we can give to someone free of charge that can put a smile on ones face and transfer vibrations and energy of love. 

The exchange of energy through sex when done consciously can expand ones mind the vibrations shared can elevate one.

How can two people having sex outside of marriage be deemed as an immoral act but owning a slave and bashing them on the head isn't?  Don't off piss me!

Exodus 21 20-21

 ²⁰ “Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, ²¹ but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property".

For those of you who are religious, I understand your plight but I would implore you to research thoroughly about the origin of the faith you follow and understand why the Abrahamic religions were put in place. 

A film called the Zeitgeist will help as well as a book called 'The Book of the Dead'.

(Here is a link the film http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guXirzknYYE .)

Religion shouldn't stop two people who love each other from getting married; marriage doesn't have anything to do with the creator. It is a manmade construct/concept. The church should have never got involved.

Remember marriage and religion came after humans, not before. The Quran, Talmud and Bible were all written by men who claim to have been inspired by G-d ¬_¬.

Religion was invented at a time when people didn't have a clue what the hell was going on, 2000 years later we've advanced. Science has helped us to understand things we once had no answers to. G-d was the answer to everything. 

The most important thing is the message and not the messenger, whether it comes from Jesus,Mohammed or Buddha. The message was; G-d loves you. So should religion really stop two people from loving one another? Should it stop two people dating? I leave that for you to decide.

The inception has been planted, it is for you to do some research for yourself, but in saying all that...

If you're looking for a man to complete you, you've missed the whole point.